Halloween Dogs

Desperate House Husbands

Let me start out by saying that when I walk my dogs- I somewhat resemble a sexy version of one of the Frog brothers from the eighties vampire flick The Lost Boys. I have a wooden stake stuck down the back of my sports bra,(for beating off stray dogs) and around my waist there is a black fanny pack stuffed with emergency supplies like poop bags, dog treats, tweezers and mace. Typically my left hand is holding three leashes while my right grips multiple bags of poop. Such was the case today as I walked through my neighborhood perplexed by a variety of oddities. I saw a dead rat wasting near some shrubbery, a worn out stuffed lion at the foot of someones driveway, and a hypodermic needle stuck in the grass less than a foot from the curb.  However, the oddest part of my walk today happened when I was on the last leg of our path, walking briskly and thoroughly engrossed in the David Sedaris audiobook I was listening to. I passed a man who was wheeling his trash out to the curb. My first impression was "an old guy." But he really probably wasn't any older than sixty and may have been in his fifties. He had thick silver hair and a belly that would have made Santa jealous. He spoke to me as I passed. I was moving quickly and listening to my book so I assumed he said what people always say, "who's walking who? hahaha!" and I said something equally generic and kept going. Something like, they are really making me move fast today! So, if he actually commented on the weather he probably thinks I am either very slow mentally or hearing impaired. But he doesn't care apparently because instead of going back to his life he asks me if he can have my business card! I then decide he must think I am a professional dog walker. So I asked, a card for dog walking? Clearly one of us is confused. Then he says, a card for whatever it is that you do! Finally I realize, the old guy (or not old guy) is hitting on me! Someone should help him with his technique! My next spontaneous response was to tell him that I work exclusively with women as a fertility therapist and so unless he was trying to get pregnant...wah wah wah.....  He said he hadn't been trying lately and I gave a friendly wave and rounded the corner with my dogs.  A walk is so much more than a walk. You just never know what will happen!

Things You Don't Want to See On a Walk

Saturday With Travis