Monday, October 31, 2016

Halloween Dogs

Desperate House Husbands

Let me start out by saying that when I walk my dogs- I somewhat resemble a sexy version of one of the Frog brothers from the eighties vampire flick The Lost Boys. I have a wooden stake stuck down the back of my sports bra,(for beating off stray dogs) and around my waist there is a black fanny pack stuffed with emergency supplies like poop bags, dog treats, tweezers and mace. Typically my left hand is holding three leashes while my right grips multiple bags of poop. Such was the case today as I walked through my neighborhood perplexed by a variety of oddities. I saw a dead rat wasting near some shrubbery, a worn out stuffed lion at the foot of someones driveway, and a hypodermic needle stuck in the grass less than a foot from the curb.  However, the oddest part of my walk today happened when I was on the last leg of our path, walking briskly and thoroughly engrossed in the David Sedaris audiobook I was listening to. I passed a man who was wheeling his trash out to the curb. My first impression was "an old guy." But he really probably wasn't any older than sixty and may have been in his fifties. He had thick silver hair and a belly that would have made Santa jealous. He spoke to me as I passed. I was moving quickly and listening to my book so I assumed he said what people always say, "who's walking who? hahaha!" and I said something equally generic and kept going. Something like, they are really making me move fast today! So, if he actually commented on the weather he probably thinks I am either very slow mentally or hearing impaired. But he doesn't care apparently because instead of going back to his life he asks me if he can have my business card! I then decide he must think I am a professional dog walker. So I asked, a card for dog walking? Clearly one of us is confused. Then he says, a card for whatever it is that you do! Finally I realize, the old guy (or not old guy) is hitting on me! Someone should help him with his technique! My next spontaneous response was to tell him that I work exclusively with women as a fertility therapist and so unless he was trying to get pregnant...wah wah wah.....  He said he hadn't been trying lately and I gave a friendly wave and rounded the corner with my dogs.  A walk is so much more than a walk. You just never know what will happen!

Things You Don't Want to See On a Walk

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Post Walk Bliss

We LOVE Dogs in Costumes!

Yesterday Roxie was lounging in her overstuffed easy chair and Trav was sprawled out on the floor. Tilly was doing her own thing. I reached up in the closet and pulled out last year's Halloween costumes. Travis has his lions mane that just slips over his head and matches his golden fur perfectly and Roxie has a Tigger costume. Tilly's rock and roll girl dress is MIA but I am now thinking she needs some sort of cat costume in keeping with our group theme. Roxie's ears perked up the minute she saw her costume. She leapt to the ground and raced over to me. Travis started prancing and pacing. These dogs LOVE dressing up! If one of them is wearing a costume and the other isn't the dog without clothes will jealously attempt to rip the others dogs costume off! Unfortunately Tilly is the only one who doesn't like being dressed and she is the one who is easiest to fit. If she liked wearing clothes I would have buy her dozens of outfits, but no, her sweaters end up chewed off and hidden in the backyard. I kind of want to dress her up as a lobster. I have no idea why I am drawn to this except that I think she would make a cute lobster. We have a whole month to try on costumes and have fun before the big day. Don't you worry! Pictures are coming soon!

Other People's Dogs

I admit it- I sometimes jump to conclusions about other people and their dogs. I have a client who has a very young Australian Shepherd. I have been in their home twice and the dog was always outside by himself casting longing looks indoors at the family. Any time I see a dog on its own outside my heart always breaks a little. If they have a companion dog not so much, but if they are all by their little lonesome I feel sad and my internal dialogue looks something like this- "Why did they get a dog if they don't want to spend time with it? Don't they know that dogs are pack animals and not meant to be alone?" By the way as I am typing this Travis is lying next to me has farted loudly. AND IT IS NOT the smell of fresh cut daisies. I was in their home again recently and gazing through the door at his beautiful blue eyes when I mentioned that I would love to meet him. After I finished their massages I walked into the main room and was met by some alert style barking. Then this beautiful 11 month old animal cautiously approached me and sniffed my hand. He then apparently decided I was okay because at this point he full body lunged at me and and proceeded to try to stick his tongue down my throat. I backed up and sat down and he followed me maintaining his full contact style of affection. I rubbed him down and gave him hugs ignoring the searing burn of claws ripping a slight tear in my right arm. Suddenly I realized they probably put him outside to spare me from this enthusiastic greeting! Fair enough. We then talked about the agility training they wanted to get for him and training they had gotten for him so far. These people do indeed love their dog- they just have to do a certain amount of damage control. I totally love his dog. I will take a full body hug and a kiss complete with scratches anytime!